Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
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