I hate your face
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize