idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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