no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
