you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
