Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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