Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
