My hand turned me down
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Randomize
