Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Randomize
