I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
is that a dick in a sweater?
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