I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
