Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
