If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I have tasted many bathrooms
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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