Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
