dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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