She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
