What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
