oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
