i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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