jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I wish life had little blips of pornography
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
