Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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