some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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