Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize