I swear she didn't look like that last week.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize