My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
