We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
