i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me