Duck Duck Cougar?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember