The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.