it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
