yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
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