There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
