Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
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...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
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Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
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