did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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