I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
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Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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