by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
