used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
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All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
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He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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