I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I wear drunk well.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
