Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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