Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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