I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
