hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
