They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone shattered a urinal.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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