the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
