Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
