It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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