you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize