dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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