i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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