Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
