Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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