Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize