Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
