My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
