There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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