We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
They took my balls.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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