The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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