I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
we made out on top of his cat.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
