this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
